英語小品劇本-搞笑英語劇《葉花K西》

來源:經典臺詞網(www.bjpyno.live)發布時間:2014-10-18熱度:

《葉花K西》
  人物介紹:西門吹雪(X),葉孤城(Y),King(K).花滿樓(H)
  道具:牛奶兩袋,匕首一把,戒子一枚,紙屑若干。
  第一幕:決戰紫荊城之顛
  旁白:A quiet villageiscoveredwithwhitesnow .
  Birdsaredancinginthecold .
  Amaniswalkingalongthestreet ,stepbystep .
  Windiscominginsilence.
  Another mysteriousmanapproaches .
  Y與X相遇.
  X:oH ,Iamsorrytoknockyou !
  Y:Haha, Nevermindbaybay.
  X:Excuseme, whoareyouonearth? couldyoutellmeyourname?
  Y:ha ha ,Iwon’tchangemyname! nomatterwhathappens. I’mthemostfamous-------YeGucheng. Whoareyou?
  X:Iamximenchuixue.
  Y驚訝:Ar, ximenchui xue?
  X:Yes,whatiswrong?
  Y:IheardthatyouarethebestingMartialArts?
  X:Great, youknowme !
  Y抱腿:Please, please…… Don’tkillme! letmeyougo!
  X:No, Imustkillyou !
  Y:Idon''''''''''''''''twanttobekilled.Thereare aeighty-year-oldmotheandathree-yearold sontobelookedafterbyme!
  X:Noway! Becausewearefightingnow!youknow?
  Y突然站起冷冷的說:Don''''''''''''''''t forceme!
  X:Pardon!
  (Y拿出一袋牛奶)
  X搶過牛奶:milk, verygood! Ilikedrinkingit. howdoyouknowthat?
  Y:pleasedrinkit!
  X喝完牛奶:Thanks, ha,ha
  Y:Doyoustillwanttokillme?
  X:Sure, must! milkismilk.
  Y(惱怒+冷酷):Verygood! verygood! Ihopeyouwillnotforgetwhatyousaid!?
  X:I’msureIwon’t!
  Y:Imustgiveyoualesson!IfIdon''''''''''''''''tbeatyourthistime, you’llneverbehaveproperly!3-2-1-0!
  X捂著肚子,蹲下:Oach,Oach !
  Y大笑:HaHa……
  X可憐狀: help! help! Whereisthewashroom?
  Y:What ?
  X:Toliet?
  Y:What ?
  X:The “WC”?
  Y:Oh,I see ,goalongthisstreetandturnrightwhenyouseeacorssingroad!
  X:Thanks,byebye.
  Y掏出紙屑吹:Thisisgenuirnesnow!
  H:Stop!Protectingtheenvironmentisabasicobligation!
  Y:Whoareyou?
  H:Hua---man----lou! Haveyouseenximenchuixue?
  Y:Yes, hewasbeatenbymeandisin“WC” now,ha……
  H驚訝:Nowyouarethebestintheworld!
  Y:Youareright!
  H:Teriffic!youaretheonemykinglookingfor! doyouwantjoininus?
  Y:Yes,It’sverygood.
  H:Ok, followme, Let’sgotoseemyking!
  Y:Ok,Let’s go!
  第二幕:無間道
  H:Mydearest ! letmeintroduce yeguchengtoyou! (指Y) thisisyegucheng.
  K:sitdownplese, yegucheng.
  H走到Y前,《婚禮進行曲》起,H神甫狀:Yegucheng! Doyouwanttofollowmykingnomatterwhathappenssuchascold headache,sair and aids?
  Y: Yes,Ido.
  K: Huamanlou, come . puttheringonhisfinger!(音樂停)
  X唱著上:Onlyyou……(看到戒子) thisringshouldbemine!
  K:Butwhoareyou? whyshoulditbelongyou?
  Y急切: king! dearking!Imustgonow,mybrotherislookingforme!huoxi(維語再見)
  K:huoxi? Whatdoesthatmean? ItisnotEnglish, isn’t it ?
  Y:How clever……
  X冷酷:yegucheng! comehere!Iwanttotellyousomething!
  Y抱X的腿:oldbrother ! Forgiveme!
  X:Forgiveme? Why?
  Y: Oncetherewasachangebeforeme,Ilostit. Ifthegodgivemeantherchance, I’lltellyou“I love you”,Iftheremustbea limited period,Ihopeitisthousandyear!
  X:Youshall cheat me!all you did are wrong!how can youtell thelady’s“WC”!
  Y:Ilikegoinglady’s WC .I……I……IthinkthatyoulikewhatIlike.(Y又拿出一袋牛奶)
  X: m-i-l-k?haha, ayixidailu!(我愛你的意思)
  K: ayixidailu?What’sthemeaning? whyIalsocan’tunderstandyou?
  X:Youarestupid! Itmeans“I love you”.
  K:Don’t saythat“you love me”. I’llkillyouforyousayingdirtywordtome!
  X:What? (側耳裝著聽不到) You---kill----me?come, come…(X上去抓住K)
  K:Fuckyou. Imustkillyou!
  X:Howcanyoukillme? haha……
  Y:Letmehaveatry! 3-2-1-0(X捂著肚子,蹲下)
  K: thankyouverymuch, yousaveme. Now, I’llgiveyoutheticketforAmericantoletyou

 haveavacation.
  Y:That’s good. butthereisonemorething. canyougivemea MM ?IwanttogoAmericanwithher.
  K:ofcouse.Youaretheonewhohasthesimilartastewithme! Hahaha……
  Y:Hahaha-----
  H:Where’ssomewhere?
  K:What?
  Y:Doyouwanttogolady’s“WC”?
  X:Yes,I……I…… do.
  H頂著搖頭:X,no, no, youcan’tgotoLady’s “WC”. Thatisnottheplacewhereyoucangointo ! becauseyouareX ! youarethe bestmanofChinesekongfu!
  X: whatifI’mthebestintheword? !whyItrymybesttolivebutI’mstillsomiserable ? whencanIgetmyfreedom? mustbethedeadday ? !
  K: youareright. onewillnotbecleveruntilthedayhedie. Inthatcase ,whywill you die in such a bad sorrow way !gointo theLady’s WC , thendie , comfortablly ! goahead !
  H: you , stupid , bad behavior ! goaway !
  K; why ? whydoyouhelphim ! whoacturallyareyou ?
  H: myreal name isLuXiaofeng------the wifeofX .I’maspy.
  K驚訝: !you---you---YouareLuXiaofeng ? X’wife ?
  Y: Ihavealreadyrecognizedyou . atricker ! doyouknow, youarethefirst person who cheated me ! because of you ,Ideeide never believe anyone else ,including myself .you have destroyed my looking for you for many years ,just for today ! (輕聲說)Xwilldie ,goandseehim ,please .
  H撲倒在X的身邊:X,do’t die ,you should be alive ,there are much hope inthe fature and tomorrow is a goodbeginning !
  K:what amoving story !I was impressed !
  Y:life is a progress ,but it is depressed that it can not resume !
  H: life isa progress ,and it is delight that itneedn’t resume !
  (H忽然將一把匕首插進Y的心臟,K嚇跑.音樂《再見,警察》起)
  Y痛苦狀:don’tleave me here , you know I love you and I have nothing except you now ,please notabandon me !realizethat I’m wrong .help me,I intend to be back ,helpme ,I keyyou ,beg you------help me . I’ll never dothat again !(Y死,音樂停)
  (X咳,H撲到身邊,電影《我的父親母親》原聲音樂起)
  H: X , oh , no ,you can’t die ,we will go home together .
  X:gohome ! ?
  H:Tomorrow is another day !evenyou have thelast secondto live,youshould be alive ,not only for me , but for ourlove !
  X:doyouwant melivealifeinsuchasorrow way ? ok , ok , Ipromise I willbealive for you .but !youknow, Ihavenot timeleft ,but you have ,promisethatyou will be happy everyday !Youmustdome this honor... promise meyou will survive... that youwillnevergiveup... nomatter what happens... no matter howhopeless... promise me now ,andnever let go of that promise.
  H: I promise .
  X:Never let go .
  H:Ipromise . Iwill never let go ,
  X.I''''''''ll never letgo.(X死)
  H:be alive !yeah , bealive ! bealivewithout ahendance !lifecanbechanceliketimecangotoback . thereisbeatifulsnowbutinsping , solifecancomefromthebeginning ! (H自刎,艱難的爬到X身邊死.音樂停。)
  
  演員表:
  西門吹雪........................................袁瑞陽
  葉孤城............................................吳震
  花滿樓............................................駱建勇
  king................................................齊崇軻
  旁白...............................................魏妮娜
  
  編導............................................袁瑞陽
  道具師............................................駱建勇
  音效師............................................吳震
  燈光師............................................齊崇軻
  
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